Woke up this morning

and found two emails in my inbox for interviews. Just when I thought the outlook was looking quite bleak.

There is no guarantee I will get either of those jobs but, now I know there are at least a few places that think I could have potential.

What happens if...

I have also started applying somewhere we had no intention of going. Adventure beckons and I am afraid if we don't answer we will be stuck here wishing the days away.

What ifs...

Sometimes I have difficulty sleeping because I fall into the what if while I am trying to drift off. The what if game goes something like this

What if I don't get a teaching job overseas this year?
What if I have to work here this year?
What if I don't even get a job here? What will I do?
What if I had gone to the international recruitment fairs? If I went would I have gotten offered a job overseas?
What if I had graduated two years sooner or even last year? Maybe I would have a job or at least a bunch of prospective offers for employment.
What if I never finished school and just stayed overseas way back when I first went?
What if...

I know its bad to get stuck in this game as it messes with my head and even my heart to some extent. It makes me loose sleep. It makes me feel ill. It makes me mad. It makes me sad.

I try to remain positive but the window of overseas opportunities continues to shrink at an alarming rate. I wish I had better news. All I can say is there are only 7 countries left. Only 8 more schools. And then I have the answer is it there or here this year. Then I begin living in some of those what if's...

Funny story #1

After sending a resume/cover letter to one school in a time zone 11 hrs ahead of ours. I received a response about 30 minutes later. The email said:

Please come and meet us with a hard copy of your resume in person on any working day between 1200pm to 0200pm. Please check the address at www.**********.org or you can call us at XXXXXXX for confirmation.
Thanks and Wishing you all the best!!!!

Unfortunately it was not possible for me to travel 24 hrs with a few stop overs to make it to the school.

The End of Era or another check on my Bucket List

Practicum has now finished except for the looming pile science projects that still need to be marked (only 23 has 4 students were absent). The last days were almost surreal passing by at quick speed. And now it is finished. Only one more hoop remains before graduation.

A few months ago after speaker's corner my students asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up? I confidently replied 'A teacher of course' the responses came back 'So you get to be what you've always wanted to be' 'yes' 'You get to do your dream job' to which I could only respond yes again.

This has been the dream that started as a small seed back when I was 9. Now I am find myself here with a small seedling. But the dream doesn't stop here in fact in some ways it is just beginning.

During one of my classes the professor told us he had accomplished all the goals he had set out for himself. Every single one of his goals and dreams had been accomplished. I asked him how long his list was to which he replied 20 things. My list has about 45 things on it currently and it just seems to keep growing as I get older, so much so I don't see how I will be able to accomplish every single one of those dreams before my time on this earth finishes.

Lately I have been thinking about what happens with dreams over time- some shift or transform to become something more grand in scale, some become more important where as others lose meaning entirely. Or dreams will begin to conflict with one another. What happens when the dreams conflict? In the end which dream will win out or will they both die and be replaced by something else?