Impromptu Guides

For those of you who would like to visit West Africa someday, one of the first things you will notice is that you stick out like a sore thumb.

And as you go exploring, it is inevitable that a few men or youths hanging around the neighbourhood will casually accompany you.

They may not speak English or French, but will attempt to point out an interesting building or a strange tree.

As you continue walking, you may find that you know more than them, simply because you read Lonely Planet.

However, as you explain to them the significance of the building they attempted to point out to you, they will ask you for money. Since they are your guide.

How they became your guide, you will never find out. Well, actually, you never asked for a guide.

Tourists visiting a slave castle in Cape Coast, Ghana. 

Once, we visited a picturesque abandoned Portuguese fort in Ghana. Lonely Planet tells us that the difference between the renovated and abandoned forts is quite striking and well worth a look.

We packed a picnic lunch, and planned to enjoy the lovely views.

The gate to the fort was locked, and once we found the woman with the key, we wandered inside. A few moments later, a very drunk man attached himself to us.

His less-than-helpful comments included:
This is a door.
The floor is wooden.
The walls are stone.
This is where a cannon was.
The ocean is there, and people go fishing for fish in boats.
Boats are made of wood.

While we had point-blank told him we had no money to give for a tour, he persisted. So, to try and assist him in his attempt at tour guiding, N kept prodding for deeper answers by asking what type of fish locals were looking for. (answer: big ones.)  What type of trees were used in the construction of the flooring? (Answer: wooden ones.)

After 10 minutes of this, we decided this would not be the calm, relaxing picnic at the fort we envisioned.  And we decided to leave once the man turned to me and asked for a ridiculous amount of money.

And when I declined his offer, repeating my earlier statement of 'we have no money for a tour today,' he suggested that our wedding bands would be a good form of payment.

Naturally, that did not impress N, who knew more about the fort than this 'guide.' So we gave money to the woman for opening the locked gate, and suggested the drunk man learn a bit more about the history of the fort before trying any more guide attempts.