Bittersweet

The countdown is drawing to a close fairly quickly here. In exactly 17 days I will be landing in Togo. That being said there are only 15 more days before I leave Canada and only 9 more days until I leave the Okanagan.

How am I feeling about this? Well it really depends on the day.

A majority of this past weekend was spent out at the cabin with family and friends laughing, speaking german, eating junk food by the handfuls, sunathing til we all turn red and swimming in the freezing cold water to cool off. I treasure this time.

I find myself trying to take snapshots with my mind so the memories stay with me for the next two years. Its interesting that I say this now because years ago I would not have really made an effort to remember all these little moments.

Sometimes we don't know how precious life is until we are faced with it not being quite the same way it always has been. What I am trying to say is that as time carries on I appreciate how important family and friends are.

Up until recently you would have never heard me say that I experience homesickness. In fact when I left for Africa the first time I did not feel sad at all. Perhaps that was I knew that 3 months was short term and quite temporary so not too much could change in that amount of time. I would get to see everyone again soon enough. Fast forward to Christmas 2 years ago when I was away from home for the first time during an important family time, I felt so homesick it almost hurt to breath during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I was close to tears because there is comfort in familiarity and community and I really missed the community that has been apart of my life
since I was small. Now it wasn't that I was in a place with no people, there were people there just not all the people I had grown up with or felt familiar with. Will I expereince the sme feeling in Togo? I would imagine yes whenever there is a wedding/anniversary/birthday/celebration I can't be at.

I will miss those familiar faces and the traditions that come with such events. As time goes on I realize that those events are also changing. When I come back things will not be the same as before I left as change is inevitable. This makes me sad too. Like I said earlier there is comfort in the familiar. As much as I love adventure and I can't wait to get back to African soil where I will have the chance to experience new things and make new friends a part of me can't help but feel sad.

Leaving is really bittersweet...